Mod Movie Monday Gets Naughty - SINderella & The Golden Bra, 1964

Time for some Nudie Cuties, and a little history lesson!

SINderella & the Golden Bra, 1964

Let’s swing back to the early 1960s, a time when “Adults Only Fun” usually meant drinking cocktails, putting lampshades on your head and telling dirty jokes while the kids slept upstairs. Things got “out of hand” when your middle-aged boss had a few too many and made a pass at the housekeeper. For most people.

But for some of those swingers, a party wasn’t a party without a little sex. (And for even fewer, a lot of sex, but that’s another story). Those kats and kittens had to spend the nine to five uptight and respectable. But when the weekend came, a few Martoonies and a couple of Pink Ladies was enough of an excuse to dust off the libido and get a little wild.

It may be hard to think of your mother getting toasted and dancing on the dining room table to Ray Charles while twirling her bra in the air, but I guarantee you, some of your old ladies did. And flicks like SINderella and the Golden Bra would be playing on Dad’s 16MM projector while she did it.

Ok, if I haven’t tripped you out yet, then read on…

Back in the Atomic age, images of war victims and gangland murders were common, but nudity was strictly no-no. But the market was there, and a small group of enterprising men got together and started filming what they called “Nudie Cuties.” These were an off-shoot of the stag reels and “French” shorts that had been around for ages, showcasing nude women and being shown in very seedy and secluded places. The big difference was, armed with a small budget and a lot of energy, these kats made actual movies, with real scripts, sets, art direction and all. Ok, they may have not been the best movies ever made, but they were vehicles to showcase the most important part of the show: Boobs. These movies were all about boobs, all sizes, all shapes, and all natural. Oh, just for fun they threw in some butt shots and the occasional full-frontal, but always in such a way that they couldn’t get arrested for. Usually.

As it turns out, almost all of these movies were filmed down in…you guessed it, Miami, where the weather was always warm (important for filming naked chicks) and the conditions were right. South Florida had long been a favorite of nude photographers and filmers (Bettie Page shot some of her most famous works down here), and models who were willing to strip it all off on camera for a few bucks were easy to find. (Interestingly, even after Nudie Cuties sort of died off, the industry remained in Miami. You may not know it but Miami is the second largest adult film producer in the country, next to L.A.)

OK, now for the movie. SINderella and the Golden Bra is just what you’d think it is…a spoof on the Cinderella story, acted out with lots of topless 60’s chicks. Long story short, SINderella’s fairy godfather gives her a shot at dancing at the ball, yada yada. She leaves just before midnight, but leaves behind her Golden Bra, instead of the customary slipper. You see where this is going, right? The prince then goes through the village getting every chick in town to slide off their peasant dresses and try on the bra.

What makes the movie so much fun, is that the sets look like something from Mr. Rogers or some 50’s kids TV show, and the acting is so bad (intentionally of course) and over the top that it makes the whole joke work. It’s not laugh-out-loud funny, but very enjoyable on a “They were getting away with murder and being very risque for the day” level. Plus a lot of the girls are hot by any era’s standards. The DVD comes with a double feature of something called Goldilocks and the Three Bares, which doesn’t have anything to do with the fairytale but has a lot of scenes of Miami in the early 1960s. Plus the nudity is intentionally silly in parts, which makes it worth watching for the “This is pretty bad, even for then” aspect. It also includes some nudie shorts from the early 60s, featuring the kind of stuff they’d play before a feature in a stag house back in the day.

Did I mention it’s a musical?

This is what I saw on the big screen at the drive-in when I was 7. If you're over 18, click the pic to see the uncensored version

My take on the movie: Funny how you remember things from way back. In the early 70’s we moved to a town outside of Atlantic City, which just happened to have a drive-in movie theater (The Atlantic Drive In). By most accounts the theater had been there since the early 60s. In the late 60s the state built the Garden State Parkway right next to it, and if you hit a nearby on-ramp at night you could see the giant screen up close and personal. I remember driving by with my parents and reading the huge marquis on the Black Horse Pike one day. I’ll never forget it: Flash Gordon, Cinderella and Goldilocks. I got all excited and said I wanted to go. I was around seven. I’ll never forget how my mother started laughing and then my old man too. I asked them what was so funny. They said, “That’s Flesh Gordon and SINderella. They aren’t kids movies. They’re for grown-ups”. Boy was I disappointed. I didn’t really understand why they’d be for grown-ups when they were obviously titled for kids. Just so happened we were heading for the Ocean City Boardwalk that night, and had to take the before-mentioned on-ramp to get on the Parkway. We came up the curved ramp, and what do you think I saw? The biggest set of boobs I’d ever seen in my life (even til now), bouncing in a zoomed-in closeup scene in SINderella! My parents, being beatniks didn’t get upset, they just laughed their heads off. I did too.

Zoom up 25+ years later. Obscure, impossible to find movies are suddenly easily accessible on this newfangled internets thingy. Between 2001 (when I got a cable modem fast enough to research stuff) and 2005 I started combing the net for all sorts of oddball stuff I’d remembered from the past. One of the things I thought of was this movie, and sure enough I found the DVD from Something Weird Video. And sure enough, that scene with the giant close-up boobs was there, just as I remembered them

The sure had great sets on this movie. All puns intended.

On a side note: I also found Flesh Gordon online, which turned out to be an actual medium-core porn version of Flash Gordon, with some crazy Mod stuff going on. They didn’t have ratings in ‘64; today SINderella would probably get an R or PG-13. Flesh Gordon would definitely get an NC-17, and would probably have a few things cut to get that.

Here’s the original trailer for the movie from 1964. If you’d like to see some of the nudie cutie scenes, (you gotta be 18 or older, I’m told) click here for some short video of 60’s chicks in all their glory.

Just double click on the window to start and stop the video.

-Tiki Chris P reporting from the cellar with the padlocked door under the Tiki Bar, behind the 16MM Projector with my Rob Roy in my hand and a bunch of Nudie Cuties on the couches

Bye Bye, Mercury

1939 Mercury

It’s a sad day for retro-lovin’ swingers. One of our all time best-beloved, the MERCURY, is being shut down.

Sure, Mercs of the past 20 years are kind of junk-like, with maybe the exception of the Marquis if you like that “I’m floating down the highway on my living room sofa” feel. But the old-school Mercs are second to none, baby.

The Mercury was introduced in 1938 (for the ‘39 model year) as line-up that could slip in between cheap, dependable Fords and luxed-up Lincolns. A beautiful car, the 1939 Mercury was the perfect blend of styling, power, and price to fit the mid-money market.

James Dean '49 Mercury from Rebel Without A Cause

Mercury stayed ahead of tech and styling through the ’40s, ’50s & ’60s. 1949 & ‘50 Mercs became favorites of hot-rodders and customizers because of their low, sleek look. Late ’50s models stood out from the crowd with unique styling which still managed to incorporate trends of the day like tail fins and wrap-around windshield. The 1960s saw the rise of the muscle car, and Mercury kept up speed with the Marauder and Cougar. And of course no one can forget the “Baby Lincoln”, the Marquis of the late ’60s and early ’70s.

1957 Mercury Montclair

Then everything went to hell in a handbag. The ’70s brought on tighter government restrictions on safety and emissions, gas prices went through the roof, and the American car suffered. Mercs like many other brands became boated and under-powered. The introduction of cheap, ugly little sub-compacts with irritatingly slow four-cylinders just made things worse. Prices went up, quality went down, and soon Mercurys were no longer in the mid-price niche, but were being overlapped by tricked-out Fords and low-end Lincolns.

1973 Mercury Grand Marquis. My grandfather had one of these in burgundy. It was his pride and joy.

When you think about it, it’s amazing Mercury wasn’t phased out years ago like the Corvair or Rambler. If Ford had stuck to the plan…Good, strong, economic and dependable yet fun-to-drive cars for the Ford line; more interesting, more powerful and unique cars for the Mercury line; and high-luxury, top performance cars for the Lincoln line, there would be no reason to let the Mercury brand go daisies up.

Henry Ford is spinning in his grave. RIP, Mercury.

-Tiki Chris reporting from the garage behind the Tiki Bar.

PS: I’ve been around a few Mercs over the years. My grandfather had a 1965 Turnpike Cruiser with the roll-down back window, and a ‘73 Grand Marquis that rode like a sofa. My old man had a couple over the years, including a ‘92 Grand Marquis. I had the honor of owning a 1968 Mercury Park Lane Convertible with a kickin’ 390 that could shut down almost anything on the road. McGarret drove a ‘68 Park Lane in Hawaii Five-O, and of course James Dean drove a ‘49 Merc in Rebel Without a Cause. Mercs have a long, great history. And I’m pretty sure Alan Jackson will never start singing “Crazy ’bout a Subaru” or something like that.

Tiger Woods…who flips a beat?

Converstaions at the Tiki Bar

A perspective, ala Beatsville

This riff is a little off topic for Tiki Lounge Talk, but it has been a conversation at the Tiki Bar between my old lady and I, so it gets laid down on the score, ya dig?

Who the hell gives a flip what scene Tiger made, except for maybe his old lady?

Oh sure, we all dig ripping on some cat who got caught with his paw in the cookie jar. And dig it, Tiger Man did bust up on one of the 10 Commandments: Thou shalt not swing with another hip chick while the hen is roosting in the coop, unless of course thy old lady riffs to that krazy scene.

So the flipsters and spinners that hit the airwaves are making big bones about this cat’s high-infidelity. Soakin’ up the green, that’s all they’re in it for, no matter that it splatters the cat’s rep like a frog in a blender.

As the Big Man once said, “let ye who has not blown a sour note or riffed a bad scale cast the first stone, baby.” I say, if the man wants to goof on golf balls and knock around with some chicks, that’s nobody’s jazz but his own. Leave the cat alone and let him swing, both with golf club and kittens.

Are you hip?

- Darrin C. M. Buckley, for the Tiki Lounge Tiki Blog

A Little Chili in South Florida

Even in the land of swaying palms and warm sunshine, we get a few days when the temp dips down below 70°. This is one of those days. We had to bring the parrots inside from the lanai last night, because it went down to the 50°s! Seems strange when it gets chilly like this. Reminds me of the North. And I don’t like the weather in the North.

Which reminds me once again, why I moved to Sunny South Florida. Oh, there were tons of krazy reasons, but the thing that nailed the lid down on the coffin was when in Winter of 2000, during a light but annoying snowfall, I went to put my key into the door lock of my ’75 Buick LeSabre Convertible (which hadn’t had the top down in months), and the keys flew out of my frozen, trembling hand and landed in three inches of snow. It was the soft, powdery snow, and it promptly closed in on itself, disguising the place where the keys landed. To make matters worse, there was a good two inches of oak leaves and stringy dead grass under the snow. In the end, it took two hours, a rake, a shovel, and frozen feet and hands before I found them. It was then I vowed never again to live in a climate where A) I couldn’t put the ragtop down year round, B) The weather sucked eggs 9+ months out of the year, and C) I could ever lose my keys in the snow.

So here I am, where the sun keeps shinin’ through the pouring rain, where the weather suits my clothes. Today I’m wearing a sport jacket over my Hawaiian print shirt to keep out the chill. In a couple of days it will be in the 70’s again, and all will be right with the world.

-CP

Quicky: Halloween Party A Success, ’53 Chevy Giving Me A Headache

Chris Pinto's 1953 Chevy Belair Custom Hot Rod

Later this week I’ll have a fun post all about our annual Halloween Bash…this year, the DISCO OF DEATH. I’m still goin through pix and video, so give me some time…

Meanwhile, my 1953 Chevy Belair Hotrod is giving me grief. I wanted to park it in front of the house, by the Disco of Death entrance for the party. I worked on it on & off for two weeks, getting it ready, sealing the top in case of rain, rebuilt the carb etc. On the day before the party I go to start it up, and the battery is stone cold dead. I jumped it with my battery charger, and it barely turned over. So I let it charge overnight. Party day, I go to start it up and it gives me grief. Won’t start on the first, second or third try. I let it set a second, and on the fourth try…no, it didn’t start, the starter motor fried. 55 year old starter never gave me any trouble until Saturday. So the Chevy spent the party sitting in the garage looking pretty.

Also, 20 minutes before the party, 1/2 of the electricity in the house went out, including my sound system, buffet table and all the lights and effects outside. I blame this on my father’s ghost (more to come on that later in the week). Luckily I was able to get everything back on (blown breaker) in time for the party!

More on the party tomorrow…