1950’s Car Commercials…The Don’t Make ‘Em Like They Used To

A lot of you kats and kittens are big on the MAD MEN series. But are you hip to the ad jazz they were laying down? Here are a few Automobile TV commercials and print ads from the golden era of Advertising.

I currently have a 1953 Chevy in my garage. Have had it for 20 years.

This bat-winged beauty was marketed toward big business presidents and tycoons. It cost more than a Cadillac.

There are few cars more elegant, beautiful and powerful as the 1963 Pontiac. Always wanted one. This commercial makes me want one even more!

For fans of the “little” Fords…I love how they point out “no dog leg”. That’s a reference to the wrap-around windshields popular on GM models (esp Cadillac) through the early 1960’s.

Ah, one of my favorite all-time rides, the 1958 Cadillac. We had one (already vintage) when I was a kid. I will have one again someday.

An here’s some old print ads from ’50s and ’60s magazines (click on each to enlarge):

Hope you kids dug this little trip down memory lane to the days when cars were made of steel and chrome and horsepower meant everything. My my how times have changed. Sorry kids, but after looking at ads like this, how could anyone ever get excited about a Honda Accord? bleh.

-Tiki Chris reporting from the showroom floor of the Imperial dealership down the block from Tiki Lounge Talk.

PROOF That Real Pirates Still Roam Key West!

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It’s a drag when someone breaks into a museum, busts up a display and steals a $550,000 gold piece of history, probably to melt down and sell for booze, gas and grass. But when it happens to be a gold bar from a 300+ year-old Spanish wreck in Key West, Florida, well that’s a whole other story.

According to this article in the South Florida Sun Sentinel, two thieves entered the Mel Fisher Maritime Museum, broke the thick acrylic case surrounding the real gold bar and made off with it in the night. The bar was on display in a special enclosure that allowed people to lift and hold the bar, so we could feel the weight and history of it. (I held this bar myself a couple of years ago while on a KW trip). The gold bar was salvaged from the wreck of the Santa Margarita, a Spanish ship that went down off the Keys during a hurricane in 1622. The bar was recovered in 1980 and has been on display for more than 20 years.

Then along came two pirates. I call them pirates because A) these kats didn’t knock over a gas station, they went after treasure, treasure from a Spanish ship that sailed during the heyday of pirates. GOLD treasure. If two real pirates came back to life as zombies, they couldn’t have planned this better. B) It happened in Key West, where a very high percentage of the year-round population claims to either be pirates themselves, or descended from real pirates (or pirate hunters). C) They did it right under everyone’s noses, didn’t care about the security cameras or the alarm, and just took what they came for. And D) because I will bet you any amount of doubloons that there was rum involved.

It is a drag for the museum. Even though they have hundreds (or maybe even thousands) of these bars, it’s still not cool to steal from a place that makes it so much fun for the public to enjoy.

Unless, of course, you’re a pirate.

These guys might be crack-head scumbags. They might be lowlife petty thieves who made a run for the big time. Or they might have had it up to their necks with all the wealth being in the hands of the few while the majority of the world is sweating to make a buck. Who knows. I know one thing: I kinda hope they’re more the Jack Sparrow type of pirates…and I kinda hope they get away with it. At least until the Coast Guard finds their pirate ship and blows it out of the water.

-Tiki Chris reporting from Pirate’s Cove Tiki Bar, in the cavern under the waterfall on Pirate Island.

Mod Movie Monday Gets Naughty - SINderella & The Golden Bra, 1964

Time for some Nudie Cuties, and a little history lesson!

SINderella & the Golden Bra, 1964

Let’s swing back to the early 1960s, a time when “Adults Only Fun” usually meant drinking cocktails, putting lampshades on your head and telling dirty jokes while the kids slept upstairs. Things got “out of hand” when your middle-aged boss had a few too many and made a pass at the housekeeper. For most people.

But for some of those swingers, a party wasn’t a party without a little sex. (And for even fewer, a lot of sex, but that’s another story). Those kats and kittens had to spend the nine to five uptight and respectable. But when the weekend came, a few Martoonies and a couple of Pink Ladies was enough of an excuse to dust off the libido and get a little wild.

It may be hard to think of your mother getting toasted and dancing on the dining room table to Ray Charles while twirling her bra in the air, but I guarantee you, some of your old ladies did. And flicks like SINderella and the Golden Bra would be playing on Dad’s 16MM projector while she did it.

Ok, if I haven’t tripped you out yet, then read on…

Back in the Atomic age, images of war victims and gangland murders were common, but nudity was strictly no-no. But the market was there, and a small group of enterprising men got together and started filming what they called “Nudie Cuties.” These were an off-shoot of the stag reels and “French” shorts that had been around for ages, showcasing nude women and being shown in very seedy and secluded places. The big difference was, armed with a small budget and a lot of energy, these kats made actual movies, with real scripts, sets, art direction and all. Ok, they may have not been the best movies ever made, but they were vehicles to showcase the most important part of the show: Boobs. These movies were all about boobs, all sizes, all shapes, and all natural. Oh, just for fun they threw in some butt shots and the occasional full-frontal, but always in such a way that they couldn’t get arrested for. Usually.

As it turns out, almost all of these movies were filmed down in…you guessed it, Miami, where the weather was always warm (important for filming naked chicks) and the conditions were right. South Florida had long been a favorite of nude photographers and filmers (Bettie Page shot some of her most famous works down here), and models who were willing to strip it all off on camera for a few bucks were easy to find. (Interestingly, even after Nudie Cuties sort of died off, the industry remained in Miami. You may not know it but Miami is the second largest adult film producer in the country, next to L.A.)

OK, now for the movie. SINderella and the Golden Bra is just what you’d think it is…a spoof on the Cinderella story, acted out with lots of topless 60’s chicks. Long story short, SINderella’s fairy godfather gives her a shot at dancing at the ball, yada yada. She leaves just before midnight, but leaves behind her Golden Bra, instead of the customary slipper. You see where this is going, right? The prince then goes through the village getting every chick in town to slide off their peasant dresses and try on the bra.

What makes the movie so much fun, is that the sets look like something from Mr. Rogers or some 50’s kids TV show, and the acting is so bad (intentionally of course) and over the top that it makes the whole joke work. It’s not laugh-out-loud funny, but very enjoyable on a “They were getting away with murder and being very risque for the day” level. Plus a lot of the girls are hot by any era’s standards. The DVD comes with a double feature of something called Goldilocks and the Three Bares, which doesn’t have anything to do with the fairytale but has a lot of scenes of Miami in the early 1960s. Plus the nudity is intentionally silly in parts, which makes it worth watching for the “This is pretty bad, even for then” aspect. It also includes some nudie shorts from the early 60s, featuring the kind of stuff they’d play before a feature in a stag house back in the day.

Did I mention it’s a musical?

This is what I saw on the big screen at the drive-in when I was 7. If you're over 18, click the pic to see the uncensored version

My take on the movie: Funny how you remember things from way back. In the early 70’s we moved to a town outside of Atlantic City, which just happened to have a drive-in movie theater (The Atlantic Drive In). By most accounts the theater had been there since the early 60s. In the late 60s the state built the Garden State Parkway right next to it, and if you hit a nearby on-ramp at night you could see the giant screen up close and personal. I remember driving by with my parents and reading the huge marquis on the Black Horse Pike one day. I’ll never forget it: Flash Gordon, Cinderella and Goldilocks. I got all excited and said I wanted to go. I was around seven. I’ll never forget how my mother started laughing and then my old man too. I asked them what was so funny. They said, “That’s Flesh Gordon and SINderella. They aren’t kids movies. They’re for grown-ups”. Boy was I disappointed. I didn’t really understand why they’d be for grown-ups when they were obviously titled for kids. Just so happened we were heading for the Ocean City Boardwalk that night, and had to take the before-mentioned on-ramp to get on the Parkway. We came up the curved ramp, and what do you think I saw? The biggest set of boobs I’d ever seen in my life (even til now), bouncing in a zoomed-in closeup scene in SINderella! My parents, being beatniks didn’t get upset, they just laughed their heads off. I did too.

Zoom up 25+ years later. Obscure, impossible to find movies are suddenly easily accessible on this newfangled internets thingy. Between 2001 (when I got a cable modem fast enough to research stuff) and 2005 I started combing the net for all sorts of oddball stuff I’d remembered from the past. One of the things I thought of was this movie, and sure enough I found the DVD from Something Weird Video. And sure enough, that scene with the giant close-up boobs was there, just as I remembered them

The sure had great sets on this movie. All puns intended.

On a side note: I also found Flesh Gordon online, which turned out to be an actual medium-core porn version of Flash Gordon, with some crazy Mod stuff going on. They didn’t have ratings in ‘64; today SINderella would probably get an R or PG-13. Flesh Gordon would definitely get an NC-17, and would probably have a few things cut to get that.

Here’s the original trailer for the movie from 1964. If you’d like to see some of the nudie cutie scenes, (you gotta be 18 or older, I’m told) click here for some short video of 60’s chicks in all their glory.

Just double click on the window to start and stop the video.

-Tiki Chris P reporting from the cellar with the padlocked door under the Tiki Bar, behind the 16MM Projector with my Rob Roy in my hand and a bunch of Nudie Cuties on the couches

Mod (Classic) Movie Monday & D-Day: The Longest Day, 1962

The Longest Day, 1962

In honor of the anniversary of the D-Day invasion of Europe (June 6), this week’s MMM will focus on one of the greatest movies to depict the event:

The Longest Day from 1962,

Starring (among others) Eddie Albert, Paul Anka, Richard Beymer, Richard Burton, Red Buttons, Richard Todd, Sean Connery, Fabian, Henry Fonda, Jeffrey Hunter, Peter Lawford, Roddy McDowall, Sal Mineo, Robert Mitchum, George Segal, Rod Steiger, Robert Wagner, Rod Steiger, Richard Dawson and John Wayne. (As the saying goes, they don’t make ‘em like they used to.)

There are a load of great movies about WWII. This flick is a little different from most, in that it tells the story as more a historical event than a drama, and it tells the story from different angles…including the perspective of the Americans, English, French and Germans all speaking their native tongues (with subtitles, of course). Filmed only 17 years after the D-Day invasion, it’s probably the most realistic Hollywood telling of the events to be released during the Cold War Era…and with a krazy 10 million dollar price tag, it damned well should be.

The film was shot in black and white, which makes it seem more “realistic” to the time period. It wouldn’t be until decades later that a more realistic - full color - depiction of D-Day and the events following would be portrayed in movies like Saving Private Ryan (1998) and the TV series Band of Brothers (2001), both excellent selections.

There was a lot of on-locations shooting for this movie. At one point while digging on the beach in Normandy, the film crew unearthed an army tank that had been used in the actual invasion in 1944. They dug it out, cleaned it up and used it in the film. The film also features many actors who were involved in the real invasion. Here’s the trailer:

If you can get your hands on a mess kit from an army surplus store, and some cheap English Gin, you’ll have all you need for dinner & drinks to watch this flick. Either that, or pull some vegetables from you Victory Garden.

D-Day, June 6, 1944

Here is last year’s post on the D-Day invasion. I really couldn’t say it any better this year:

Operation Overlord: The D-Day Invasion of Normandy, June 6, 1944

65 years ago today marked the beginning of the end of Adolf Hitler’s reign of insanity as American and allied forces landed on the Nazi occupied beaches of Normandy, France.

Nearly 200,000 personnel were involved with the attack. Thousands of soldiers died risking the invasion so that hundreds of thousands more could push back the Nazis and end World War II. The invasion had been planned for months to insure its success. The success was solidified by the support America gave our troops.

(Click here for full post)

Key West, Retro Style

Key West Brochure, c. 1960s. Click for hi-res version.

Time to hop in the convertible and motorvate down along the Overseas Highway Kids!

Just imagine dropping the top on your ’64 Cadillac deVille, tuning in the AM radio to some groovin’ Rock ’n’ Roll station and swingin’ down along A-1-A from Miami to US 1, all the way down to the southernmost point of the continental United States. You stop for a burger and Mojito at a roadside Tiki stand, buy a couple of stuffed baby alligators and cruise over the Seven Mile Bridge into the land of palm trees and sailfish.

And you got the idea from this fantabulous piece of promotional advertising, ‘Your Treasure Map to ‘Sea’ Florida Keys and Key West, for the vacation thrill of your life. Now, I’ve never heard of old-days Keys as being referred to as ‘thrilling’ before…sleepy, laid back, relaxing maybe…but then again I’ve seen some crazy stuff at Rick’s so…

Click on the pix to enlarge them enough to read the copy. It’s pretty neat. I especially dig the hand-painted artwork of the Keys map. We just don’t build stuff like this anymore. Sure, CGI is fantastic…but it doesn’t have the feel of the old, hand-produced stuff. Just imagine..an artist had to paint this, then a team of graphic artists had to do mechanicals, color separations, cut rubies, hand-set the type…oof, I’m gettin’ a headache just thinking about it! Something like this would have taken weeks to produce in the 60s. My my my how times have changed, huh kids?

Here’s the map on the back of the brochure.

Below is the copy on the inside.

Florida Keys and Key West Treasure Map

Florida Keys Brochure

-Tiki Chris, reporting from somewhere lost in the Keys, near a Tiki Bar with a giant lobster out front.