Creature Double Feature Movies for Mod Movie Monday: Satan’s Cheerleaders, 1977 and Cheerleader Camp 1988

It ain’t often I recommend a move I haven’t seen yet…but I truly dig Satan’s Cheerleaders, and needed another cheerleader horror flick to complete this week’s duo. I searched around and found a flick that looks like it will be a 10 on the cheesy, so-bad-it’s-good meter: Cheerleader Camp. So kats & kitties, without further ado, here’s

Satan’s Cheerleaders from 1977

and Cheerleader Camp from 1988

What can be better than watching dim-witted cheerleaders get partially naked and wind up dead?

Satan's Cheerleaders

How about them being victimized by a Satanic Cult-leading Lilly Munster? I first came across Satan’s Cheerleaders after discovering “The Cheerleaders” sort-of-trilogy from the ’70s. Satan’s Cheerleaders wasn’t part of it, but continued the cheerleader movie tradition in a very wicked way. It’s one of those late-70s, low budget movies where you just know the cutest girl was given and extra fifty bucks to do a topless scene. It features John Ireland and Yvonne De Carlo along with a small part by John Carradine, along with a bunch of jailbait that will make you wish the cheerleaders at your school were really like them. The special effects aren’t very special, and the movie doesn’t take itself very seriously which makes it lots of fun to watch. Poorly written, poorly acted, who cares; the girls are hot and you’ll be screaming at the ridiculousness of it all!

Cheerleader Camp

Now this other flick, Cheerleader Camp…Haven’t seen it yet but I know it’s going to be a blast. It’s got a rating of two stars on IMDB which insures its absurdity. But how could you not enjoy a movie with Leif Garret and Teri Weigle (the porn star) from 1988? I would imaging the cheerleaders are loose and wear leggings even in the summer. Reviews point out that there is plenty of flesh and plenty of blood, and the plot is so bad you’ll have it figured out in the first five minutes…so you can sit back and enjoy the ’80s silliness without worrying about a plot!

Food & Booze: The cheerleaders at my high school drank Peppermint and Peach Schnapps, so I’d say take a shot every time someone gets slashed. Or your can try this recipe for

The Bloody Cheerleader

1 oz  Peach Schnapps
1 oz  Coconut Rum
1 oz  Silver Rum
Cranberry Juice

Fill a tall glass with ice and add the shots of peach schnapps and rums. Stir lightly, the way you’d softly touch a cheerleader on the third date, then add the cranberry so it looks like blood gushing in. Garnish with a cherry, of course.

For food, I’m thinking camp stuff…hot dogs, burgers, pop corn, fries, maybe grill the dogs over an open fire. Finish things off with Devil’s food cake, of course. Or Devil Dogs. Or Deviled eggs. You get the idea.

Here’s the trailer for Satan’s Cheerleaders:

And for Cheerleader Camp (AKA Bloody Pom Poms, of course)

Lilly Munster trying to be evil

- Tiki Chris reporting from the alter concealed behind the wall of the Tiki Bar.

Tiki Lounge talk, you’re Halloween Headquarters for spooky movies all through October.

Note: For the bloodiest, most disgusting murdered teenage cheerleaders ever put on mainstream film, see House of 1000 Corpses.

Creepy Mod Movie Monday: The Car, 1977 and Christine, 1983

“Good evening, and welcome to a private showing of two movie automobiles, displayed here for the first time. Each is a collector’s item in its own way - not because of any special artistic or engineering quality, but because each captures in chrome and steel, suspends in time and space, a frozen moment of a nightmare.”
If Rod Serling worked for Tiki Lounge Talk, this is how he’d introduce these next two flicks. For our Creature Double Feature this week, we present

The CAR, 1977 and

CHRISTINE, 1983

I picked these two movies to play together for the obvious reason: They’re both about possessed cars that go around terrorizing and killing people. There’s a big difference between the two movies though - Christine is actually a really good movie, while The CAR is probably one of the worst movies every made (I say this with a smile), but still fun to watch and make fun of. So what if the acting, story, writing and effects suck. It’s got a kool car customized by Chuck Barris in it.

Christine, Stephen King’s best seller presented by the 80’s master of horror John Carpenter features a custom red 1958 Plymouth Fury and a dorky kid named Arnie who fixes her up. The love he pours into restoring the classic car is returned by her as she runs over anyone who does him (or her) any injustice. Great shots of the car, the Hemi engine, the 50’s two-tone interior, and people getting crushed. This was all done with hydraulics and special effects long before the computer age came along with CGI. They used over 20 different cars for the film (several were kept in pristine condition and are still alive today, owned by members of the Christine Car Club). The movie strays from the book but is still scary and fun.

The CAR could have easily been called ‘The Trainwreck” for its absolute awfulness. But damn is that car kool! It’s worth watching just to see the CAR roll down the highway. It’s modified Lincoln Mark III with what seems to be a red-tinted windshield, and is driven by the Devil himself. It just drives around killing people for no reason. Kind of like the Devil goes for a Sunday drive.

Back to the good movie. CHRISTINE is a great flick on many levels. When we first see her, she’s all shiny and new at the Detroit plant and already starts causing trouble. Then we see her 20 years later, rusted & busted up, sitting in a field with a For Sale sign on her. This kid Arnie goes ape for the car and shells out $250 clams for her (in 1978 dollars) and proceeds to fix her up, even though he’s broke and the only car-fixing skills he has are what he learned in a high school shop class. How does he do it? Easy - the car fixes herself. Then she goes and kills people. Then she fixes herself up some more.

My Take: If you’re a regular reader you probably know that I grew up around classic cars, fixing them up, selling them, driving them. I can’t tell you how many times my Dad and I slammed on the brakes when we saw some POS car rotting away in a field with a For Sale sign on it. I can’t tell you how many times we brought cars like that home with us, paying anywhere from nothing to 1500 smackers depending on the ride. We even had a 1957 Plymouth Savoy with a 1958 front clip on it - very similar to Christine, except it was baby blue and was a four-door sedan. Unfortunately none of them ever fixed themselves up (or killed wise asses).

As for The CAR, after watching the flick back in the late 70’s I remember my father saying he was going to buy a ‘69 Mark III and customize it to look like the car. (He was good with fiberglass.) We never did get around to it but did customize my 1953 Chevy Belair with 33″ fins and extra grill teeth. Close enough for jazz.

Food & Booze: They drink something called “Iron City” Beer in Christine, I think. I suppose just the cheapest off-brand beer you could find will do. For The CAR, you’re going to need something stronger. How about a RED DEVIL?

1/2 oz Lime Juice
1/2 oz Triple Sec
1/2 oz Amaretto
1/2 oz Southern Comfort
1/2 oz Sloe Gin
Orange Juice
Ice

Fill a tall glass with ice and build the drink from the bottom up in the order listed so the lime juice sits on the bottom. Top off with OJ. This drink is strong as hell (get it?), but not very red. Not sure why they call it a Red Devil. You can add some red food coloring to it to make it redder.

A last note on Christine: When my family and I went to see this in the movies around Christmas, 1983, we drove to the theater in my father’s ’64 Caddy. When we came out, people were pointing at his finned car and yelling, “It’s Christine!”…even though it was powder blue and didn’t look anything like a Fury! A few years later my Dad and I bought the ’59 Plymouth Savoy (which I mentioned above) with the intention of making a Christine Clone. Turns out the motor was shot, and it was too much trouble to do it so we sold it back to the guy we bought it from for the same $200 we paid for it. Kind of wish I still had that car today. But that was 24 years ago. Damn.

Here’s the trailer for Christine:

-Tiki Chris reporting from the screaming room (I mean screening room) at Pirate’s Cove Tiki Bar.
Tiki Lounge Talk: Your Halloween Headquarters for spooky movies.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and House of 1000 Corpses for Mod Movie Monday!

Continuing our Creature Double Feature series from now until Halloween…Here’s two of the most horrific films ever made:

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, 1974

and

House of 1000 Corpses, 2003

The original Texas Chainsaw Massacre was done on a shoestring budget by a group of mostly inexperienced film makers who wanted to do something that hadn’t been done before 1974: A truly gruesome horror film. Because of the low budget and other factors…like the type of film they got cheap, the fact that the couldn’t afford plastic prop bones and were trying to get a PG rating…the film turned out to be an extremely realistic, disturbing movie with visuals that will stick in your brain for years.

Texas Chainsaw Massacre

House of 1000 Corpses is Rob Zombie’s ode to Chainsaw. Using digital technology and an additional 25 years of film-making expertise, he recreated the style right down to the over-exposed daylight scenes and realistically insane characters…just  not with a low budget. Chainsaw was over-the-top and disturbing in 1974…Corpses blows by it without any stops, quintupling the gore, blood, insanity and fantasy in such a realistic way you’ll be believing in monsters by the end.

House of 1000 Corpses

There are more similarities between these two movies than just the style. Chainsaw is about a group of young friends traveling through Texas that get unintentionally drawn into world of a family of insane, inbred wackadoos that torture, kill, etc etc. Corpses is about a group of young friends traveling to discover the truth behind the legend of famed murderer, who unintentionally get drawn into…ok, you get the picture. The main difference between the two is how Zombie went all out, with dead cheerleaders, carnival freaks, intense violence and gallons of blood, whereas Chainsaw is more focused, more direct and down to earth about the horrors.

Texas Chainsaw Massacre

Some interesting notes on Chainsaw: Because of the low budge the film makers couldn’t afford plastic prop skeletons. Instead, they bought real human skeletons and bones from India. There are also a lot of animal bones, feathers, etc. in the film. These are real. They acquired remains from animal shelters and burned the carcasses in the back yard where they were filming. The black cloud of smoke and the stench caused the sheriff to close off the highway near the filming location, and almost got the film closed down with it. Oh, and by the way…the money used to make this film was basically laundered from the profits of Deep Throat. Ain’t life crazy?

Texas Chainsaw Massacre

My take: I didn’t get to see chainsaw until I was in my 20s. I’m glad I didn’t see it sooner. I’m pretty sure I would have had nightmares for years. I was actually afraid…yes, afraid…to see Corpses in the movies when it came out. I had to psych myself up for months to watch it on DVD, and it still disturbed the hell out of me. The imagery is so intense, so out there that unless you’re a seasoned horror film addict it will probably blow your mind.

A funny note: I actually saw Texas Chainsaw II on HBO not long after it came out in the early 1980s. It was nothing like the original. The fact that they had a decent budget worked against them, and it just turned out to be another run-of-the-mill 80s slasher flick. HOWEVER…I just happened to be watching while making a pot of my famous Texas Chili for an upcoming Halloween party. Here’s the funny part: Chainsaw II is about the nuts using human meat to make Chili for a Chili contest, and as I was mixing up my Chili, they were mixing up theirs. Needless to say, I’ve served Texas Chainsaw Chili at every Halloween party since.

House of 1000 Corpses

Food & Booze: Well, what else…Chili. Made with people, if you can murder yourself some young chicks. For drinks I’d recommend a nice Chianti. As for Corpses…you’re not going to want to eat anything while watching this flick. If anything, you’ll want to have a bucket handy.

-Spooky Tiki Chris reporting from the barbecue pit behind the smokeshack at Tiki Lounge Talk, the hep & happenin’ joint for Halloween-lovin’ kats and kittens.

“Which Witch?” Game, 1971 - One of my favorite vintage Halloween Toys

In earlier posts, I talked about some of my favorite Halloween toys from the 60’s & 70’s…The Mystic Skull Game, Coffin Bank, Candles, etc. I saved one of the best for last…Which Witch? from 1971!

This masterpiece of cardboard fun came from an era when board games were no longer relegated to the flat world, and rose up in glorious three dimensions. Games like Mousetrap, Operation and Hungry Hungry Hippos transformed the single-layer concepts into mechanical miracles of light, sound, and moving parts. And marbles. Which Witch? is an engineering marvel that must have taken the brains at Milton-Bradley many LSD-laden hours to conjure up.

It starts with a typical game board, covered in 60’s style cartoon graphics of the floors of four rooms (in what is apparently a haunted-type house infected with three witches). Next, cardboard walls rise to form the four rooms: The Broom Room, Spell Cell, Witchin’ Kitchen and Bat’s Ballroom. In the center is a chimney which (witch?) doubles as the means to the demise of snoopy little children who enter the abode. (If you pick the card that says, “Ghoulish Gerty Drops It Down The Chimney”, you have to drop the ruby red marble down the top of the roof;

the marble can go in any of four dimensions and wreak havoc on the ill-fated children). In the Bat’s Ballroom, the final room, sets a staircase. The first meddling kid to reach the top of the stairs and land on the “Charmed Circle” (without being turned into a mouse or knocked off his keister) wins the game!

Two young-girl pieces and two young-boy pieces (made of plastic and very 50’s Nancy Drew/Hardy Boys looking) try to make it through these danger-ridden rooms, desperately attempting to avoid the hidden traps and spells. The fear of being hit by a broom, pushed down the stairs, crippled on loose floorboards or plain old hit-in-the-head with a giant ruby marble doesn’t seem to thwart our intrepid explorers. They roll the die and move their spaces, pick a witch card and hope for the best.

I remember playing this game with my mother (something of a witch herself) when I was a young kid. Once, I spent almost the entire game as a mouse. That’s no fun, because you don’t get to move. Another time I got knocked over like eight times in a row. The worst part about this game was that since it was made of cardboard & plastic, it didn’t last. Putting the cardboard walls together meant twisting, bending, and ultimately tearing the parts. My original game died an illustrious wrecking-ball death in the 1970s; I was lucky enough to come across one cheap a few years ago to replace it. You can still find them on eBay for anywhere from $20 to $100, depending on condition (and the market). These are only going to get rarer and more expensive, so if you dig this sort of thing I’d recommend finding one soon!

Happy Halloween!

TIKI-WEEN - Having your wild retro Halloween bash at the Tiki Bar

It ain’t no secret that Tiki & Halloween go together like peanut butter and chocolate. In addition to bright tropical flowers and pretty Hula girls, Tiki culture incorporates lots of dark mysticism, Voodoo, human sacrifice, zombies and spooky jungle intrigue. Some Tiki idols (such as the Moai) are even believed to embody the souls of long-dead ancestors (which is pretty kreepy, if you ask me). And no Tiki bar is complete without at least on shrunken head sitting next to the Voodoo Tiki Te Quila. So why not throw a rat-pack style Halloween cocktail soire at your Tiki Bar? Here’s a few tips to make it wild, kool & swingin’:

The Invitations:
Now I, being a Creative Director/Computer Graphic Designer for years, lay out my own custom invitations each year. This year I actually threw together a web site invitation with photos of previous parties, video, a Google map, and info on the party. One year we did a horror movie theme, and invitations were tickets to the Oscar-like award party. Another year the invitations were movie posters. Let your creativity go nuts. But if you’re not good with graphics, with zillions of on-line custom invitations available, you’re going to find something that fits your mood. Make sure your invitation clearly explains your theme so everyone is hip to it, how to dress, and what to bring (if anything).

The Decor:
With your Tiki Bar & collection of spooky Tiki gooodies, you’re already half way there. All you gotta do is embellish it with some retro-style Halloween decorations, and a few extras. You can go as crazy as you want with decorations, but try to stick to the old standards: Paper cut-out skeletons (some haven’t been changed in 50 years), skulls, black & orange crepe paper, cob webs (a nice touch that makes everything look old), black balloons, etc. You can even find actual vintage decor on eBay (usually) for decent prices. Since Retro is ‘in’ many department stores (i.e. Target) and party stores (i.e. Party City) have some very kool vintage-style props & party-ware, too. If you want your party to keep the faith with the old style, stay away from decor with slick, computer-generated graphics and plastic props. Lots of real pumpkins, gourds, Indian corn and Jack-O-Lanterns mixed in with the palm plants and Tiki masks will put your party in the right place.

The Music:
Bust out the Les Baxter and Martin Denny, kids, it’s gonna be a wild jungle night! The mystical sounds of Exotica take on an eerie, spooky tone when played behind cobwebs and skeletons. Set a cut-off year for songs, say, 1963, and only play music recorded before that year. Sprinkle in a few favorites like the Monster Mash, Artie Shaw’s Nightmare, Duke Ellington’s The Mooch, and Glenn Miller’s Swingin’ at the Seance for a little extra flavor. For suggestions on Exotic music, click here.

The Ambiance:
Nothing wrecks a good party faster than bright lights. Turn off ALL the lights, unscrew the bulbs, tape up the switches, don’t leave any way for guests to turn on a light. You’re going to do some lighting effects. First and easiest: Candles. They set a great mood, keep the room dim, and sometimes even smell pretty. You can even get black candles this time of year at many art supply stores and, of course, candle shops. The above-mentioned outlets also often have spooky skull, witch, or ghost candles. Decorative candles may cost a little more, but they’re a load of fun. I especially like the candles that melt down to reveal bones or blood underneath. And don’t be afraid to light them…you can buy more next year.

If candles aren’t your bag, consider black light. You can pick up black lights cheap ($15-$20) at places like Walmart & Kmart. One is usually good for a small room, two for a larger living room. You can buy ultra-violet paints that glow under the lights at Spencer’s or most art supply stores. They’re water-based, so you can highlight stuff, then wash it off later. (don’t be stupid and paint your antique furniture. It will wash off of non-porous stuff like your Tiki Mugs, not your vintage wooden Tribal masks). Red and Blue party bulbs in your lamps also create a kool, creepy look. If possible, place lamps on the floor so the red glow seems to shine upwards. Depending on the crowd, you might want to keep things pretty dark…more fun to feel your way around…

Another fun touch is to add a fog machine to the mix. They start at around $20 in department stores, but they tend to be noisy and might not have a timer. For around $100 you can get a small pro model, with an auto timer that sets off fog blasts at an adjustable setting. They can be used indoors, as long as you have a a way to circulate the air so people don’t choke to death…

The Drinks:
You’re going to want some hip cocktails to serve at the party. Here’s the thing: There’s nothing worse than working through your whole party making complicated drinks for a ton of people and not getting to socialize, so if you have a lot of people, keep the drinks simple. If you have a small group, go for some fun exotic things like Zombies and Mai Tais. Even though you’re a Tiki lover, many of your friends won’t be (unless you live in an exceptionally hip town), so be prepared for the usual bar stuff - good wine, decent beer, the basic liquors and lots of vodka. You can feature 50’s mod drinks like Martinis and Manhattans, but give them a Halloween touch by adding a few drops of yellow and red food coloring to make them orange. Call them “Madhattans” and “Martiantinis” too. And a Scorpion bowl or Volcano are great for Halloween, of course. Just be careful of your collectible barware…if it’s a light drinking crowd, it’s ok to use your good Tiki Farm mugs and vintage rocks glasses, but if it’s a boozer crowd, stick to plastic. I know it’s not kool, but there’s nothing more un-kool than throwing away your broken collectibles along with the empties. Remember, just because you appreciate the value of a retired Tiki Farm Volcano Bowl, doesn’t mean your drunken friends do!

The Food:
If you really want to have a blast, pick up a copy of a cookbook or party-planner pamphlet from the 50’s. You’ll get a kick out what people were really doing back then. Although you’ll have to do some updates, try to used the old recipes. Use the book itself as part of the display on your buffet table. Great conversation starter. A quick, old-style finger food menu might look something like this:

• Chicken Teryaki skewers with sweet & sour dipping sauce
• Cheese & pepperoni platter, garnished with parsley and surrounded by crackers (use Halloween themed toothpicks from the party store)
• Boiled hot dogs, cut in half and served on small dinner rolls (add saurkraut with red or green food coloring to make it look evil)
• Deviled Eggs (you can add food coloring to these, too)
• Cold Cuts platter
• Grave Yard Cake (Chocolate cake with a mini grave yard scene on top)
• Fondue with toast points (you can add salsa and chunks of tender beef or chicken to the fondue and tell everyone it’s made with body parts)
• Sour cream onion dip & chips (use blue, green or red food coloring)
• Celery sticks with chive cream cheese
• Iced Shrimp cocktail (shrimp is scary)

You can poke around the net for different kookie ideas on how to make these foods look more Halloweeny, like making the rolled up ham look like fingers, etc. It’s also fun to name the food after old movies, i.e. Forbidden Plandip and Mark of the Deviled Eggs.

The Costumes:
Since this is a Tiki themed party, you should encourage your guests to come dressed in Tiki costumes, or if it’s a retro theme with Tiki undertones, get everyone to dress up like a different character from Mad Men. Or, you can go the authentic route and get everyone to dress as movie monsters from the 60’s & earlier, such as Dracula, Bride of Frankenstein, etc. A challenging and fun variation is to have it in “Black & White”…do all of you decor in BW, and have your friends come dressed in costumes and make-up that are made of Black & White only…not as easy as it sounds…but when everyone gets together, it looks very kool.

The Day of the Party:
Back when I was a dumb kid, I used to decorate the day of the party. Then by the time the party got rolling, I was already beat…So now I start early. Depending on how elaborate your decor is, allow yourself a few days to a month to decorate. I kick things off in September, but then again I build props and sets for my house (because I’m a nut case, certified). As for the food & bar, do all your prep work the night before the party. Have the bar set up, fruit sliced, and the food ready to cook so you have less work to do right before the big event. On party day, you should only need to set up your platters, cook your finger foods, and buy ice!

The Time of the Party:
After 20+ years of throwing my own Halloween shindig, I’ve been made hip to two important things: Always have the party on a Saturday, and never start it before 8:30. If Halloween falls on a Saturday and your friends all have kids, only have it on that day if you want the kids to come. If it’s an adults-only gig, have it the week before. Starting the party earlier than 8:00 will make people thing you’re going to serve dinner. Having it later will automatically drop off some people who don’t like to stay up late.

It’s 8:20 on the day of the party. The candles are lit, the ice is in the bucket. The Tiki torches are fired up, and The Haunting (1963 version) is playing on the TV with the sound off. Quiet Jungle emanates from the Sears Select-o-matic hi fi. Fix yourself a Zombie, have a piece of cheese and get ready to have a blast!