Bogart Cocktail and A Flash of Noir: Both FREE, here at the Tiki Lounge

A Flash of Noir, by Christopher Pinto

There’s a tinge of brandy in the air on this steamy night in Tikiland. The darkness is so thick and cruel that even the mice don’t want to step out for a crumb. A door creeks open in the darkness, and a man in a black trench coat and tilted fedora carefully picks his way through the tables until he reaches the bar…

For those of you who dig Noir style movies and fiction, I’ve got a real treat for you tonight:

“A Flash of Noir: Flash Fiction & Short, Short Stories with a Twist” by yours truly, Tiki Chris, is now

FREE

For a limited time, for Kindle!

A Flash of Noir is a collection of flash fiction and short, short stories, laid down old-school style by master mystery writer Christopher Pinto. Writing in the genre of gumshoe detectives and sultry dames, creepy horror and hep cat jive, Pinto has put together a series of mostly one-page, 60-second reads that will transport you to another time…a darker, more sinister time.

From smokey bars in New York City to the tropical islands of the Florida keys, A Flash of Noir takes you for a spin through the seediest gin joints and darkest alleys. One minute you’re speeding down I-95 in a hot rod, the next you’re tasting cheap whiskey in a basement tap room where the women are heartless and the men are unforgiving. Gangsters, cops, private eyes, strippers, murderers, phantoms…plus a few comedy pieces to keep you from wanting to slit your wrists.

Over 40 stories of crime fiction, ghost stories, retro fiction and short beatnik poetry plus noir-esque original photographs by the author make this a fast, fun read. There’s even a flash written entirely of song titles…see if you can list every one!

AND THOUGH MONDAY, IT’S FREE!

All you need is an Amazon account and a Kindle or Kindle Reader App on your phone, ipad, computer, etc, and you’re all set! Just click this link, A Flash of Noir, to download this groovy tome for free.

BTW: Did I mention it’s free?

Your Weekend Vintage Cocktail: The Bogart Cocktail

You’re going to need something cool and noir-ish to sip while reading this book. What could be better than a cocktail named after Humphrey Bogart? Now, this wasn’t his kind of drink (he was mainly a Scotch man), but we can certainly picture this concoction as the house drink at Rick’s Cafe Americain in Casablanca.

•    1 1/2 oz. apple brandy
•    1 oz. brandy
•    1/4 oz. lemon syrup
•    1/4 oz. lime syrup
•    1/4 oz. vanilla vodka
•    Chilled cocktail glass
•    Lemon wheel, for garnish
•    Lime wheel, for garnish

Pour all ingredients except the wheels into a shaker and shake with crushed ice until a frost forms on the outside of the can. Strain into cocktail glasses, and garnish with the wheels. Serving on a silver plate with .45 caliber bullet adds a nice touch.

-Tiki Chris, reporting from the bar at Rick’s, c. 1944

Alcohol-Soaked Eggnog for a Very Merry Tiki Bar Christmas

With Christmas just a few days away I thought I’d give you kats and kittens some retro Egg Nog recipes to get your Christmas shindigs really swingin’! After all, you can’t have a retro, mid-century-style Christmas affair without a generous amount of booze flowing. And the easiest way to get your guests sloshed is with a couple of cups of good, strong, traditional eggnog. With these recipes, even the most uptight conformists will have lampshades on their heads before Santa makes an appearance. But be warned…these concoctions have been known to make some guests disappear two-at-a-time (and sometimes three) to darkened, upstairs rooms while the party is in full swing in the parlor!

Easy: Tiki Chris’ Pirate-Style Eggnog Recipe

I’m kind of lazy when it comes to Eggnog, so my personal recipe is the kind that uses pre-made non-alcoholic nog kicked up with some good booze and spices.

1 quart good quality store-bought eggnog
About 1 1/2 cups Captain Morgan’s or Sailor Jerry Rum
2 oz Coconut Rum
1 tablespoon Cinnamon
1 teaspoon nutmeg
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

Pour the nog into a large bottle and add all ingredients (start with ½ cup of rum and keep adding to taste). Shake vigorously and chill in the refrigerator for at least two hours before serving. That’s it…it’s delicious.

A little more involved: Vintage Style Eggnog Recipe, from Rumdood.com

Thanks to Hurricane Hayward of TheAtomicGrog.com for turning me on to this kool Eggnog recipe. Check out his blog for lots of great recipes and more…and also check out RumDood’s post with four more great winter cocktail recipes.

“Egg Nogg:
.75 oz Brandy
.75 oz Rum
.5 oz Sugar
3 oz Whole Milk or Heavy Cream
1 Whole Egg

Mix rum, brandy, sugar, egg, and milk in a mixing tin.  Fill the tin with ice and shake like your life depends on it. Strain into a glass or goblet and garnish with freshly grated nutmeg.”

Christmas Yule Eggnog: A complicated but well worth it vintage recipe.

From the Old Mr. Boston Deluxe Official Bartender’s Guide (my version is from 1979, the recipe dates back to the late 19th Century:

Beat first the yolks and then, in a separate bowl, the whites of one dozen eggs.
Pour them together and add:

1 pinch baking soda
6 oz. gold rum
2 lbs granulated sugar (yes, that’s two pounds)

Beat into stiff batter. Then add:

1 qt fresh milk
1 qt sweet cream
2 qts blended whiskey or bourbon

Don't forget to have a tasty Camel cigarette with your Eggnog! Santa approved!

Stir. Set in the refrigerator overnight. Before serving, stir again and serve in punch cups with sprinkled nutmeg on top. Fannnntabulous stuff.

That should keep you kids hammered through the holidays. Don’t forget, you can always add more booze if it’s not strong enough!

-Tiki Chris P. reporting from under the Christmas Tree at Tiki Lounge Talk

Looking for a great last minute gift for the retro lover in your life? You can gift an eBook to anyone with an email address from Amazon.com! Why not give your loved ones a fun, spooky, retro-tastic murder mystery ghost story…say, maybe, one written by your favorite Tiki culture blogger! Check out Murder Behind the Closet Door and Murder on Tiki Island, both under $4.oo on Amazon.com!

Monsters, Inc. 2001 For Mod Movie Monday

Monsters, Inc. I know this ad/poster is a taken from another movie poster...anyone guess which one?

Just one look at this flick and you know that the creatives at Pixar really did an homage to the old-school Disney films when they put together

Monsters, Inc. 2001

starring Billy Crystal, John Goodman, Steve Buscemi, James Coburn, Jennifer Tilly and Mary Gibbs.

I include this flick in the Mod Monday gig because there’s so much in it that screams of vintage while being made with technology way ahead of its time that the movie itself is a sci-fi wonder come true.

The opening credits alone will swing you back to Disney’s “first” golden era, with a clarinet-lead jazz instrumental that’s perfectly paired to a snaky monster and a plethora somewhat confusing and mod-looking doors, reminiscent of the Disney musicals of the 1940s and ’50s.

Then the story opens with a couple of very kool monsters, not particularly scary at all but kind of Muppet-like. They live in an apartment decorated with old-school furniture, one has a jalopy that looks like a ’60s sports car with teeth, they walk down a very 1940s-New York-looking street and report for work in a factory that’s sort of a mix of mid-century modern and minimalist industrial designs.

Doesn't this look like something from a retro-50s sci fi thriller?

The retro/vintage themes rack up from there. James Coburn’s voiceover sounds a lot like the bad guys in the old Hannah-Barbara cartoons from the ’60s and ’70s (or Burgermeister Meisterburger in Santa Claus is Comin’ To Town, voiced by Paul Frees). There are retro Disneyland posters on the walls, and a 1960s-style newscaster. There’s even a scene on a tropical beach with a couple of Tiki huts!

The story? Oh, yeah…sometimes I forget to tell you about the story, don’t I. Ok, it’s about a couple of Monsters who work on the scare floor of the corporation who provides electricity for Monstropolis by collecting the screams of human kids and bottling them. The corporation reminded me a lot of Office Depot’s corporate headquarters where I worked briefly at the time this movie was made. The whole thing they do with “I am Monsters, Inc!”…yeah, Office Depot did that with their employees for a training video. Oy.

Uh...yeah. Mid-century Retro-rama, baby!

Anyway, back to the subject…It’s a great flick and the added retro-isms will have kats and kittens like you digging it even more. For a sneak peak (and the numbero uno reason this flick fits the Mod Movie Monday category), check out the two videos below. The first is the opening credits to Monsters, Inc., the second is a clip from Make Mine Music (1947) featuring the Benny Goodman band and visuals by Disney. You’ll see immediately where the designers for Monsters, Inc. got their inspiration. Even the music is similar…not the same, not copied…but inspired. Great job, Pixar. Keep the faith, baby.

Here’s the Intro to Monsters, Inc. 2001

And “After You’ve Gone” from Make Mine Music, 1947

-Tiki Chris P. reporting from the Scare Floor at Tiki Lounge Talk. BTW…the bear in this photo look familiar? It should…he’s the original Winnie the Pooh

Prest-o-lite: A Vintage Advertising Thermometer from my past

Every once and a while I like to post about junk I have laying around the house. This little goodie is a vintage (original, not repro) advertising wall thermometer.

Prest-o-lite batteries were the cream of the crop back in the 1930’s when this little gem was new. A wall thermometer like this would likely have been given to a gas station or service shop owner as a promo gift, to hang on the wall in the shop or outside by the pumps. It’s built of heavy gauge steel, and the graphics appear to be silk-screened with some heavy-duty pre-war lead-based tough-as-nails paint. It’s about two feet tall, and has a nice three-dimensional art deco look.

Like everything else I write about, it has a story. When I was a kid, living in the suburbs of Atlantic City, there was a very kool old house (built in the early 1920s) across the street from us. It was stucco, had a drive-in basement/garage, hardwood floors and the original 1920s sink and fixtures in the kitchen. Yes, very kool. It also had a couple of acres of nicely-kept land, including a glass and wood green house. As years went by, the owners passed on and the house became a rental. By the time I was in high school it had deteriorated to a heap of crap, and was torn down. Today it is still an empty field. Yay progress.

Anyway, when I was a teenager a family with a son my age moved into the house and we became friends. One day we were exploring what was left of the then dilapidated greenhouse, and found this thermometer nailed to a post inside. I offered the dumbass $3 bucks for it, and he happily took it (and proceeded to spend it on a Slurpy and some video games). That was 1984. It now hangs in our library room, right next to where I’m typing this post.

Note the rather large, circular blemish in the middle of the battery graphic. That is a dent…not a hole, a dent…made by a .38 caliber bullet. Not sure why anyone shot the sign. Maybe I’ll use that for my next murder mystery novel. In any case, the kid kept the slug. I got the sign.

What’s it worth? Who knows. To some collectors it would need to be mint condition to bring top dollar. To others, the authenticity of its used condition makes it worth more. I’ve never seen another one like in the last 25 years. Maybe it’s worth $300 clams. Maybe 50. Maybe more…but it’s not for sale, so it don’t matter much now, do it?

I’ve had this thing for over 25 years. I’m guessing it will make a nice ornament on the lid of my coffin someday.

-Tiki Chris Pinto, bestselling author (soon) of Murder on Tiki Island, reporting from the Library Room (What the hell is a “library room”???)

If you dig Facebook, drop by The Retro Tiki Lounge

Some of you swingers may not know that Tiki Lounge Talk has an official Facebook fan page, The Retro Tiki Lounge. There you’ll find daily posts of kool pix, jazzy videos, swanky Tiki stuff, cocktail recipes, kool music, krazy stories and more. Kool kats & kittens even post info on swingin’ retro/vintage style and Tiki events, bands, stuff to buy, etc. etc. There’s a lot going on there every bright, with much more swag than I can fit here at the Tiki Lounge, so swing on down to The Retro Tiki Lounge on FB for a double shot of Tiki & Retro fun. Can you dig it? I knew that you could;)

-Tiki Chris P. reporting from the Retro Tiki Lounge on Facebook.