Bye Bye, Mercury

1939 Mercury

It’s a sad day for retro-lovin’ swingers. One of our all time best-beloved, the MERCURY, is being shut down.

Sure, Mercs of the past 20 years are kind of junk-like, with maybe the exception of the Marquis if you like that “I’m floating down the highway on my living room sofa” feel. But the old-school Mercs are second to none, baby.

The Mercury was introduced in 1938 (for the ‘39 model year) as line-up that could slip in between cheap, dependable Fords and luxed-up Lincolns. A beautiful car, the 1939 Mercury was the perfect blend of styling, power, and price to fit the mid-money market.

James Dean '49 Mercury from Rebel Without A Cause

Mercury stayed ahead of tech and styling through the ’40s, ’50s & ’60s. 1949 & ‘50 Mercs became favorites of hot-rodders and customizers because of their low, sleek look. Late ’50s models stood out from the crowd with unique styling which still managed to incorporate trends of the day like tail fins and wrap-around windshield. The 1960s saw the rise of the muscle car, and Mercury kept up speed with the Marauder and Cougar. And of course no one can forget the “Baby Lincoln”, the Marquis of the late ’60s and early ’70s.

1957 Mercury Montclair

Then everything went to hell in a handbag. The ’70s brought on tighter government restrictions on safety and emissions, gas prices went through the roof, and the American car suffered. Mercs like many other brands became boated and under-powered. The introduction of cheap, ugly little sub-compacts with irritatingly slow four-cylinders just made things worse. Prices went up, quality went down, and soon Mercurys were no longer in the mid-price niche, but were being overlapped by tricked-out Fords and low-end Lincolns.

1973 Mercury Grand Marquis. My grandfather had one of these in burgundy. It was his pride and joy.

When you think about it, it’s amazing Mercury wasn’t phased out years ago like the Corvair or Rambler. If Ford had stuck to the plan…Good, strong, economic and dependable yet fun-to-drive cars for the Ford line; more interesting, more powerful and unique cars for the Mercury line; and high-luxury, top performance cars for the Lincoln line, there would be no reason to let the Mercury brand go daisies up.

Henry Ford is spinning in his grave. RIP, Mercury.

-Tiki Chris reporting from the garage behind the Tiki Bar.

PS: I’ve been around a few Mercs over the years. My grandfather had a 1965 Turnpike Cruiser with the roll-down back window, and a ‘73 Grand Marquis that rode like a sofa. My old man had a couple over the years, including a ‘92 Grand Marquis. I had the honor of owning a 1968 Mercury Park Lane Convertible with a kickin’ 390 that could shut down almost anything on the road. McGarret drove a ‘68 Park Lane in Hawaii Five-O, and of course James Dean drove a ‘49 Merc in Rebel Without a Cause. Mercs have a long, great history. And I’m pretty sure Alan Jackson will never start singing “Crazy ’bout a Subaru” or something like that.

Key West, Retro Style

Key West Brochure, c. 1960s. Click for hi-res version.

Time to hop in the convertible and motorvate down along the Overseas Highway Kids!

Just imagine dropping the top on your ’64 Cadillac deVille, tuning in the AM radio to some groovin’ Rock ’n’ Roll station and swingin’ down along A-1-A from Miami to US 1, all the way down to the southernmost point of the continental United States. You stop for a burger and Mojito at a roadside Tiki stand, buy a couple of stuffed baby alligators and cruise over the Seven Mile Bridge into the land of palm trees and sailfish.

And you got the idea from this fantabulous piece of promotional advertising, ‘Your Treasure Map to ‘Sea’ Florida Keys and Key West, for the vacation thrill of your life. Now, I’ve never heard of old-days Keys as being referred to as ‘thrilling’ before…sleepy, laid back, relaxing maybe…but then again I’ve seen some crazy stuff at Rick’s so…

Click on the pix to enlarge them enough to read the copy. It’s pretty neat. I especially dig the hand-painted artwork of the Keys map. We just don’t build stuff like this anymore. Sure, CGI is fantastic…but it doesn’t have the feel of the old, hand-produced stuff. Just imagine..an artist had to paint this, then a team of graphic artists had to do mechanicals, color separations, cut rubies, hand-set the type…oof, I’m gettin’ a headache just thinking about it! Something like this would have taken weeks to produce in the 60s. My my my how times have changed, huh kids?

Here’s the map on the back of the brochure.

Below is the copy on the inside.

Florida Keys and Key West Treasure Map

Florida Keys Brochure

-Tiki Chris, reporting from somewhere lost in the Keys, near a Tiki Bar with a giant lobster out front.

“Murder on Tiki Island” - A New Novel in the Works!

I’m officially announcing that I’m working on a new murder mystery/ghost story, aptly entitled “Murder on Tiki Island.”

Since getting a great response and nice reviews on “Murder Behind the Closet Door,” I’ve decided to go on with another story idea I’ve had. This one takes place in 1956, and features Detective Bill Riggins from MBTCD, back when he was a young detective on the NYC vice squad. It also swings back to 1935, the action taking place on a little private island off the Florida Keys, Tiki Island. I don’t want to give too much away, but I can tell you it will have that Noir feel of the old 50s murder mysteries, and will include some kool era stuff, from the Overseas Railway to the music of time, slinky dames, seedy bars, Tiki torches and Mai Tais. Tiki lovers, you’re going to dig how I weave original early and mid-century Tiki Culture into the plot. Retro lovers, you’ll dig the Mike Hammer-style action, cars, women and grit.

“Murder on Tiki Island” is in the baby stages right now. With any luck, it’ll be ready in about a year. But just for fun I’ll give you kats and kittens updates as it goes, and will even post a few paragraphs now and then to get your opinions!

Thanks for stopping by the Tiki Bar and digging the kool stuff we talk about. Catch a copy of Murder Behind the Closet Door online at www.createspace.com or on Amazon.com.

-Tiki Chris Pinto, aka Mack, from the Tiki Bar

MY FAVORITE 60’s HALLOWEEN TOY: THE MYSTIC SKULL GAME

Hey, Bone Daddys & Halloween Kittens! Did you know the Tiki Scene was so hip in the 50’s & 60’s that Ideal Manufacturing came up with a board game with a Tiki-VooDoo Theme??? Dig it, from 1964,

MYSTIC SKULL
THE GAME OF VOODOO!
…with the mysterious moving skull!

Ohhhhh man! This is one of my all time favorites. The graphics on the box are kookie, a little scary, and wreak of mod-tiki art from the middle of the last century. The game itself is as krazy as it looks, too, with VooDoo dolls, pins, a couldron and of course the MYSTERIOUS MOVING SKULL.

I had one of these when I was a kid back in the 70’s. Always loved the box. When I was 32 and we were moving to Florida, I decided to sell it (couldn’t take everything with me). I remember I paid $.100 for it around 1977. I sold if for $40 before moving. When I got to Florida, I missed it so much I started looking for a replacement. I found one on eBay a year later for $15, and scooped it up. That’s the one you see here.

The Skull hangs from a mysterious plastic branch that sticks out of the couldron. When it’s your turn, you stir the couldron with a bone, and the skull mysteriously begins to shake, rattle and roll like krazy! Old Bone Head decides your fate as you encounter snakes, spiders, shrunken heads, and of course ZOMBIES! I tell ya, just checking out the graphics of this game will transport you back to the days when life was game and games looked like they were made by the same kats who drew Mr. Magoo. So if you dig Tiki, try to get your hands on a MYSTIC SKULL Game. There’s a couple of em on eBay right now..but mine ain’t for sale, baby!